Grieving my “Girl Dad”
This year has been ROUGH to say the least. High highs and low lows. One year ago i lost my father to cancer. I was 8 months pregnant with my first daughter and had only had 2 months to process the fact that he even had cancer before he was gone. My world shattered into a million pieces. Growing up I was the epitome of a daddy’s girl. My dad took me to school EVERYDAY until I got my license, he even taught at my middle school so we truly bonded during those car rides. I was a girly girl but my dad was a football & track coach so I always tagged along with him for practices growing up. As I got older and my dad remarried I gained two more sisters. One of whom I share the same birthday with and my my dad proudly told everyone “he had good timing” 😂. I always wondered how my dad felt being in a house with 4 women but he always took everything in stride. When it was that time of the month that he likely would be sent out for a store run to get junk food and pads he wouldn’t flinch. He always had the best advice about boys and constantly gassed me so I knew my worth. I could come to my dad about anything and I knew he would have the right words to say to me without coming off too “preachy” or judgmental. I miss our random phone calls after work about absolutely nothing or his random texts with my baby pictures saying how he was so proud of the woman I’ve become. I take solitude knowing that I was enough. My dad didn’t need a boy to make him proud because he had 3 girls who were super successful in life and he constantly bragged about that fact. I never felt less than and any time I had any doubt I wasn’t he made sure to lay out every reason why I am. Sometimes I feel down when I think about how Brielle will never get the chance to know such a wonderful man and she will never experience the love my father had for his girls. But I take solace knowing that he instilled in me the principles that helped me to chose a man like my husband, Brandyn. Brandyn has so many of the same characteristic of my dad I know that Brielle will grow up knowing her worth and knowing that she is enough too.
The untimely passing of Kobe Bryant really wore heavy on my heart because as the daughter of a Girl Dad I know how hard his daughters must be taking this. Losing a father, especially one who was heavily influential in your life is TOUGH. If I could talk to them I know nothing I say can take away their pain, but I would tell them all you can do is be grateful for the time you did spend together although it may have been short. I loved the quote from a Nipsey Hustle Lauren London mentioned at His funeral. He said “you can’t posses people, you experience them”. There are so many women who don’t have the same bonds with their father and you were able to experience that.
“You can’t possess people, you experience them”